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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Not quite Random

Its 20 10 2010 and i'm back here writing again. Some people are making a fuss about the date but i don't quite get it. Maybe there something in it i cant seem to see . Anyway its just another day just another day.. i went church yesterday. One of the pastors preached on Psalm 23 verse 2 "He made me to lie down in green pastures" He talked about relationships and who can make us do things and why we would do it because of the relationship we had. He talked about a relationship with God and asked us how we obey God about how God makes us to do things. and the general consensus was that we sometimes obey God out of fear, out of a need to claim a blessing and sometimes because of the relationship we have with God, and in some cases God sometimes has to force us to do things through reprimands. I was really feeling what he was saying and my mind kept saying "all God wants is that u trust him by laying down" he also talked about the green pastures and how sometimes we just need to trust God about it... we need to get to that point were we can trust that when God makes us to lie down, that it will be in green pastures.. it was really thought provoking and i kind of enjoyed the service it made me think and gave me a deeper meaning of the psalm and that verse. The only spoiler for me was this "sister" who said she didn't think that that was what the verse meant and basically just said that the verse was about something else entirely .. i think she somehow managed to throw the whole teaching off course the other spoiler was the pastor who somehow managed to water down the whole thing. In my opinion we go to bible study to learn deeper about God's word. If we wanted to be babied, we wouldn't have bothered to come for bible study. The truth I've leaned after years as a Christian is that God's way are not our ways and that we have to have absolute faith in God 'cos somethings are going to happen but as a child of God you have to trust that God is working everything out for good. The most important point is to lie down trusting that since it as God who said so then it has to be in green pastures even tough our human eye cannot see anything. I think that the psalmist was sharing about how he had come to point were he has realised that when God makes him to lie down, it is always in green pastures and that when God leads him, it is always besides still waters and God restores his soul ... thats just my understanding of it.

btw i'm currently watching the little rascals and laughing my head off... am i alright?

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


So this morning i took a memo up to my boss and he crosses it out with a big X, my mistake? well i forgot to edit the title. See i Use a template for my memos so basiclly i just edit all the needed fields print out and then Save As with the new title name to keep proper records. So instead of my memo reading Supplies Purchase, it read Internet connection subscription payment.
Whats funny and weird is that i read the whole memo but somehow i missed the title .....Ok ! Ok!! plus a few other things. I had to re - edit and calm my self down to make sure there were no more mistakes in it and of course this led to more re - edits and reprints. In all I had to reprint about four times. By the time i finally got back to my boss he gave me an ultimatum "The next time i have to correct your memos i won't sign anything from you for a week" i screamed and he went "okay you don't like a week ... lets make it one whole month" (I think the man has been watching too many movies )
During my appraisal, he gave me a (2) for my writing skill and when i asked him why, he told me it was because he was forever correcting my memos............. i was like wait a minute.. i write well very well if i might add and the poorly written memo was from my team member who had and still has the writing skill of an eight year old (i know i was passing the buck but i needed to get that 4) but he reminded me that it was my job to look through every memo to make sure that there were no mistakes he said to me "Adunni you need to improve on your attention to detail" my hand just fell .

He said the same thing again this morning and as i left his office it got me thinking .. why do i not pay attention to detail?.. it was funny how i stared at the memo and still missed the very glaring errors in it. God help me. I really need help. It's very easy for me to walk into a situation and see the big overall picture and i mean really see a picture in my head about the situation but when it comes to those tiny little details it's like my eyes just glaze over them. As long as the big picture is alright then its ok.
All morning I've been racking my brains trying to figure out why i do that... is it because I'm impatient ... (but I'm more patient these days now) .....i can't seem to find the answer....... i read so quickly and absorb stuff so quickly but i miss out the errors ...makes me wonder

Even in my life i look at situations and i can get the big picture and go my merry way but somehow i miss those little, little things that matter in life. I gloss over things and miss those important things in life that money cannot buy. I look at the big picture and forget to enjoy the little things.......... when i look back i feel a kind of sadness that i did not take the time to enjoy some things and now i have no memories of them and i wish i did. I worry so much about issues that i fail to enjoy the moment, the now , the shared laughter with a close friends , the warmth of a hug from some one special, i missed out an all that and it makes me sad. But what gives me hope this morning is that now that i know that, i can change it or at least i can try to change it making sure i make the best of every moment, to explore every emotion I feel and not to be ashamed by my feelings . Like right now i'm writing again and i feel happy, giddy with excitement and weird all at the same time ohhh a lot of emotions .. I know but its all good.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I couldn't think of a title

I will not say its been a while because that would be stating the obvious.Instead i'll say its good to be back. Good to have my mojo back. For a long time life happened and for the most part i just couldn't find the words to put here.

And now i think perhaps life has driven me back here or maybe my need to unburden my thoughts, to share with .................even though it just a dairy. Whatever it is that drove me back, i hope i stay here fight all my demons, find inner peace and do great things.