It's A NEW DAY

Today is a new day.

Just tried a new template. I kind of like it. I hope i can change the colors and customize it.

Looking for a new template. I don't like this yellow one. its just bland like that. off to look for lovely free ones. emphasis on free.

I ANT TO COME BACK

i want to come back here but i don't know how. I've lost my way and am now in a maze of my own making. Wish i could find my way back. I really miss here. Here is where i put down my deepest thoughts shared my deepest feelings. Here is where i felt so good looking back at my own mastery of the written word. Perhaps its the looking back thats kept my pen still. perhaps i should wipe the slate clean and begin again perhaps i should start afresh a new page without the mistakes and triumphs of the past or perhaps i should stay and commit.... i dunno. Every time i try to start again some how i get sidetracked hmmmm... words so much in my head swirling round and round so close i can almost touch them words so many words I've kept them inside so long and now all i want to do is let them out ...lord how i've missed you ... i really really have... i hope that now that i've come back , that i can stay course coming here keeps me sane ........

Not quite Random

Its 20 10 2010 and i'm back here writing again. Some people are making a fuss about the date but i don't quite get it. Maybe there something in it i cant seem to see . Anyway its just another day just another day.. i went church yesterday. One of the pastors preached on Psalm 23 verse 2 "He made me to lie down in green pastures" He talked about relationships and who can make us do things and why we would do it because of the relationship we had. He talked about a relationship with God and asked us how we obey God about how God makes us to do things. and the general consensus was that we sometimes obey God out of fear, out of a need to claim a blessing and sometimes because of the relationship we have with God, and in some cases God sometimes has to force us to do things through reprimands. I was really feeling what he was saying and my mind kept saying "all God wants is that u trust him by laying down" he also talked about the green pastures and how sometimes we just need to trust God about it... we need to get to that point were we can trust that when God makes us to lie down, that it will be in green pastures.. it was really thought provoking and i kind of enjoyed the service it made me think and gave me a deeper meaning of the psalm and that verse. The only spoiler for me was this "sister" who said she didn't think that that was what the verse meant and basically just said that the verse was about something else entirely .. i think she somehow managed to throw the whole teaching off course the other spoiler was the pastor who somehow managed to water down the whole thing. In my opinion we go to bible study to learn deeper about God's word. If we wanted to be babied, we wouldn't have bothered to come for bible study. The truth I've leaned after years as a Christian is that God's way are not our ways and that we have to have absolute faith in God 'cos somethings are going to happen but as a child of God you have to trust that God is working everything out for good. The most important point is to lie down trusting that since it as God who said so then it has to be in green pastures even tough our human eye cannot see anything. I think that the psalmist was sharing about how he had come to point were he has realised that when God makes him to lie down, it is always in green pastures and that when God leads him, it is always besides still waters and God restores his soul ... thats just my understanding of it.

btw i'm currently watching the little rascals and laughing my head off... am i alright?

ATTENTION TO DETAIL

So this morning i took a memo up to my boss and he crosses it out with a big X, my mistake? well i forgot to edit the title. See i Use a template for my memos so basiclly i just edit all the needed fields print out and then Save As with the new title name to keep proper records. So instead of my memo reading Supplies Purchase, it read Internet connection subscription payment.

Whats funny and weird is that i read the whole memo but somehow i missed the title .....Ok ! Ok!! plus a few other things. I had to re - edit and calm my self down to make sure there were no more mistakes in it and of course this led to more re - edits and reprints. In all I had to reprint about four times. By the time i finally got back to my boss he gave me an ultimatum "The next time i have to correct your memos i won't sign anything from you for a week" i screamed and he went "okay you don't like a week ... lets make it one whole month" (I think the man has been watching too many movies )

During my appraisal, he gave me a (2) for my writing skill and when i asked him why, he told me it was because he was forever correcting my memos............. i was like wait a minute.. i write well very well if i might add and the poorly written memo was from my team member who had and still has the writing skill of an eight year old (i know i was passing the buck but i needed to get that 4) but he reminded me that it was my job to look through every memo to make sure that there were no mistakes he said to me "Adunni you need to improve on your attention to detail" my hand just fell .

He said the same thing again this morning and as i left his office it got me thinking .. why do i not pay attention to detail?.. it was funny how i stared at the memo and still missed the very glaring errors in it. God help me. I really need help. It's very easy for me to walk into a situation and see the big overall picture and i mean really see a picture in my head about the situation but when it comes to those tiny little details it's like my eyes just glaze over them. As long as the big picture is alright then its ok.

All morning I've been racking my brains trying to figure out why i do that... is it because I'm impatient ... (but I'm more patient these days now) .....i can't seem to find the answer....... i read so quickly and absorb stuff so quickly but i miss out the errors ...makes me wonder

Even in my life i look at situations and i can get the big picture and go my merry way but somehow i miss those little, little things that matter in life. I gloss over things and miss those important things in life that money cannot buy. I look at the big picture and forget to enjoy the little things.......... when i look back i feel a kind of sadness that i did not take the time to enjoy some things and now i have no memories of them and i wish i did. I worry so much about issues that i fail to enjoy the moment, the now , the shared laughter with a close friends , the warmth of a hug from some one special, i missed out an all that and it makes me sad. But what gives me hope this morning is that now that i know that, i can change it or at least i can try to change it making sure i make the best of every moment, to explore every emotion I feel and not to be ashamed by my feelings . Like right now i'm writing again and i feel happy, giddy with excitement and weird all at the same time ohhh a lot of emotions .. I know but its all good.

I couldn't think of a title

I will not say its been a while because that would be stating the obvious.Instead i'll say its good to be back. Good to have my mojo back. For a long time life happened and for the most part i just couldn't find the words to put here.

And now i think perhaps life has driven me back here or maybe my need to unburden my thoughts, to share with .................even though it just a dairy. Whatever it is that drove me back, i hope i stay here fight all my demons, find inner peace and do great things.

THE FEMINIZATION OF ME

Femization... too much grammar ..abeg before una break my medula ... i don check am for wikipedia and from all the big big grammar wen full there my understanding of the word is as follows:

Feminization - As a lifestyle desire. Feminization is a person's voluntary transformation from male to female, either physically, behaviorally, or both. This transformation can either be permanent, or temporary.

To my understanding it means becoming more girly. Over the last couple of weeks, i've found myself having this great need to put on a dress. yeah .. i know.. whats all the hype about putting on a dress. The thing is the last time i put on a dress, i was like 10 , 11 so this great desire is certainly news worthy. Even with every girl , their mamas, and their grandmas sporting an ankara dress i never made or wore one. I just didnt see myself wearing one and i had a long list of perfect excuses too.. it wouldn't fit well... ill look frumpy.... blah blah blah all so i wouldnt admit that i just didnt want to wear a dress at that time period.

Now that phase has passed and i find myself looking at dresses in a different light and im thinking to myself ...hmmm i think ill look fly in that..... and that..... and since i dont do half measures i want the whole girly lifestyle. The clothes, the make up, the bright colors, the reds, the pinks ... the whole works.. Now its not like i dont wear make up, i do i just dont do it all the time and i always miss something out, if its not eye shadow , its mascara e.t.c.. This need has been so great that ive had to sit myself down and ask whats with all this girly business? I asked my evil twin who is my resident shrink and she says that the need to be girly is just an expression of the big thing i want which is... yep you guessed right .. change.

I want a new job, wat to meet new pple (i'm seriously bored with all the pple in my life right now).. so many things. I want to make a hairstlye that ive never had before , meet new pple etc in short i want to change my life and i want it right now. anyway sha i digress.
so if u happen to run into or come across a beautiful (yes i say so myself ..sue me), curvy chick in this dress that would be me.......

P.S. Hell has officially frozen over. I AM ON A DIET.

I MISS U

I miss u and i dont know why
a few days pass without me having a single thought of u
yet all of a sudden my face flushes, my heart skips a beat
i remember and i get this ache down in my belly
slowly , it spreads througout my body
i get hot and cold at the same time
i reach for my phone to call you .....
but my memories hit me in the face like a dash of ice...
My hand stills and i can't bring myself to make that call
sometimes i go over myself and i send an sms
most times i say nothing, just hi
but even when the coldness and the hurt of my memories still my hand
still i miss u and i wonder how i could miss someone so much that my arms ache...

Finding My Rythm

I wish there was some other word i could use right now but i cant seem to find any. It has been a loong while since ive been here. Every day i tell myself im going to blog today but time slips by and before i know it its time to go home. Right now ive decided to blog at least twice a week to make up for the lost time..... i hope i can make it LOL!!!!!!!!!.

So whats brought me back here asides the fact that i love to write? Well I do love to write and thats why im back and if all i ever write about is about myself my day or whatever happening around me then so be it. Not everyone was meant to write the great novel but some people were definitely meant to write short stories. nomore illusions of grandeur for me.

so wat been happening to me.......... a whole blog no..make that two blog posts.

SO LONG

Hey blog, its been soo long since i've been here, i really have. I know u're wondering what happened to me. Well lets just say that Lagos, growing up and work happened.

So much has happened but i didn't have the words to express them. Now that i have the words, there so much that i feel like putting down and its crowding me 'cos every word wants to be put down.

Got a new job in July last year and since then its like i've been on a rollercoaster. Crazy tasks and even crazier deadlines and im loving every minute of it. Downside is the traffic i have to face every morning and evening but i think ive finally gotten a hang of it. I catch all my extra sleep in traffic.

On the flip side though I HAVE NO LIFE.... i go to work, go back home .. eat sleep and begin the cycle the next morning.... i seriously need to get a life.

there so much to talk about .... its been sooo long.

i hope somehow in my mad schedule i can keep posting here.

I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY NEWYEAR Y'ALL

THIS PAGE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION

LETTER TO MY BLOG

Hi blog,

Long time no see. e been don tay since when i come here last. no be my fault o na condition and situation cause am. Any way sha i don return and the return na with a big bang. tory plenty and man pickin don waka. I wan thank all de people when ask after me. Una do well o, may somebody do for you too..........................................

LET GO

By T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you, let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk.

Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us.

For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. So stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......
LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, andsee your worth.....
LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you .
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents
LET IT GO!!!
If you! u have a bad attitude.......
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......
LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level inHim........
LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......
LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed ..........
LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2007!!!
LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then .
LET IT GO!!!

Because "The Battle is the Lord's!"

I BELIEVE

I BELIEVE THAT................................

I will find Love

I'll find Happiness,

I'll shine like a star,

And all my dreams will come true.

Even though the night seems dark,

Dawn is sure to come......................................

STILL I BELIEVE

IT'S BEEN ONE YEAR (HOW TIME FLIES)

The 16th of February marked exactly one year since my first post Drawing first blood. Its been quite a ride.

HAPPY BLOGGERVERSARY TO ME

From the first ever blog i read ore its been a wonderful whole new experience. Thanks Everyone for making my stay on blogger wonderful.

MY VALENTINE

Tomorrow is valentines day and this year, i've decided that i want to have me a valentine. So this year, my valentine is someone who i've known almost forever. ...and before u go i know ,i know, ....NO its not TG.

My decision to make sure i have a valentine goes way back to my 2nd year @unilorin. Yep University of Ilorin. My name is Adunni and i graduated from the university of ilorin. well anyway it was my 2nd year at uni, and valentines day was around the corner. I wasn't doing too good in the relationships department... in fact i wasn't even in the department. Not only that, i couldn't think of any admirer of mine who would claim me as their val and all that stuff.

My girlfriend Aisha and i were mooning about our val less fate one evening when it suddenly occured to us that hey!!! since our chances of getting gifts and stuff of any kind on val's day was very ... very... very.. slim,we'd just val each other. That way, when all the other girls were getting gifts we wouldn't be too miserable as we'd at least have something to console ourselves with and we wouldnt be too miserable.

So we bought each other gifts and funny enough we had a swell time. We made concotion rice , made a cake and bought Zobo drinks. In fact we had a lot more fun than most of our friends who had boyfriends.

Well this year once again i've decided to console myself 'cos this year i most certainly need it.

And my Valentine is........(drum roll) not its not Aisha (she's married now) its my friend "Y"

My friend "Y" I've known her forever. We attended the same primary school but we were barely friends 'cos we were always in different classes. We hooked up after secondary school. Sh'd come back to Lagos to stay with her Grandma whose house is on the same street as my mum's shop.

I remeber the day we met again. I was opening my mum's shop one morning and this girl walks up to me from nowhere and asks if i'd attended Convent(Maryland Convent Private School). I said yes ,we struck up a conversation and that was it.

Now i must confess if she hadn't walked up to me, i wonder if we'd have met otherwise. 'Cos i rarely do stuff like walk up to people and introduce myself (Im really really shy but people find it hard to believe though). And so we've been friends since. We've had our issues and all that but we're still good friends. I'd like to believe that its because we've both made a concious effort to stay friends.

Coincidentally we were born a mere 20 days apart she 5th of July and I'm 25th. We almost always have the same issues at the same time for example she had one extra at school and i had two extras....

We've been through thick and thin together "Y" and I. I call her gradma my grandma 'cos we're so close.

Now i could go on and on about "Y" shes smart, sazzy, beautiful,tall, elegant,intelligent plus shes the best marketer there is (i know.... i know... i'm biased).

But thats not why she's my Val. She's my Val 'cos she's my support system. She's always there whenever i need to just yak about my issues. She encourages me. She's a source of strenght and comfort. She's a great person and i'm just glad that she's my friend.

MY LOVELY VALENTINE.

Now that i've gone and made it official that she's my valentine, i know that she will not let me "hear word" till i get her a gift..... Now what do i get my Valentine?

FUNNY

I was going through my sent folder tonight and i came across this email. What i can't believe is that i actually got this mail, read it fowarded it to every one on my messanger list and yahoo address book and promptly forgot about it. Now forgetting about it................ this stuff is so profound and it seems like a sort of warning for me 'cos i got it in January 2006. Its like someone somewhere had seen what would happen in 2006 and sent me this email as a warning or a guide sort of, so i would be able to recognise some things........... maybe....... maybe not....... point is I forgot .... forgot............ forgot.

Well enough with my smacking myself on the head.. ill let u emmmm read it.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed ever let you down probably will. Youwill have your heart broken, probably more than once,and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too,so remember how it felt when yours was broken.You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot; who calls you back when you hang up on him; who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead; who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats; who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares aboutyou and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "..that's her"

Send this to as many people as u can in 15 minutes to carry on the chain...and spare yourself the emotional stress.

Well i sent it to as many people as i could but i forgot to read it myself. Now as i finally read it, I wish i had read it myself instead of just going ohhhh thats sooo true ill send it to every one. Maybe i really would have saved myself the emotional turmoil.

Happy New Year everyone